“Movement towards forgiveness creates space for self-awareness to grow. If you forgive you choose to start fresh and to try a different way.”

By: Cindy North, Certified ADHD Life Coach

April 9, 2021

Parents, do you find yourself in a battle? Every night! If your ADHD child is running on fumes, you are likely primed to enter an ADHD battle zone. The evening can become a whirlwind of nightly daily care headaches- dinner- yuck!, baths, tooth brushing, hair brushing, pajamas, and then the actual act of going to bed. Yeah right! Likely, no one will win from this if a battle ensues.

As children grow tired, their brains no longer have as much bandwidth to control their actions. ADHD brains have even less ability to regulate. Meltdowns ensue, battles happen, tantrums and patience grow thin. You’ve coaxed, and tiptoed hoping not to go down the slippery slope again. They are not the only ones tired- you are too! Right? It’s not like you haven’t done the same thing every night for how long now????? What can you do?

Dr. Kutschner puts it so simply, “forgive.” Yes, the day fell into a mess. Yes, there was a battle. Yes, it was hard. Maybe there were things said you both wish you could take back. What can you do?

Forgive. Teaching the act of forgiveness benefits both parties and teaches such a valuable life skill for the future. Forgiveness is so important as a gift to others but most certainly for ourselves. Wave your white flag. You deserve it, and your child does, too. Parenting an ADHD child is a learning process. What works one day may not the next. Embrace forgiveness and seek flexibility. Be kind to yourself.

Helpful Tips & Tricks for a Smoother Evening

• Enlist the help from your child to cook dinner with you. Involving them in the food prep primes the mind to be invested in the outcome and desire. They may just try it or even better eat the entire meal. https://amzn.to/31VLYFV
• Add bubbles, or use an all-natural bath fizz to create a fun bath time. Some fizz balls will change the water. https://amzn.to/32bMH6l   Try putting a few drops of calming essential oil on the shower floor to create a new aroma. I like lavender.  https://amzn.to/3uyAKnd
• Try a new flavored toothpaste or a light-up toothbrush with a timer to incentivize brushing teeth longer. Does your child like to move? Try brushing to your child’s favorite songs. https://amzn.to/320hIty
• Brush hair with a soft brush trying out a new leave-in conditioner. For girls, braiding long hair can help prevent tangles or the use of a silk pillowcase. https://amzn.to/2OwfQ8P
• Find pajamas that will work for your child. Comfort is key! If your child gets scared maybe have them pick out a superhero pajama outfit that will protect them while they sleep. Or maybe they get too hot. Try a cooling blanket like this one my daughter loves. https://amzn.to/39UcCUd https://amzn.to/3mwkgJn
• Sleep- calming down is key. Some children benefit from a weighted blanket https://amzn.to/3fVW2a7 or being tightly tucked in to help their body stop the desire to move. Be sure to follow all safety instructions and indications if using a weighted blanket with your child. Some children need their sleep space completely silent. Others are better to have white noise like a fan or noise machine on in their room. https://amzn.to/3wFGYUk Some need a light on while others have to have it dark. One thing to consider is not to have a light that emits blue light. Don’t forget the brightness of a digital clock if they are in your child’s room. Blue light disrupts REM sleep and can contribute to interrupted bio-rhythms. If your child requires a light on to sleep try a red light https://amzn.to/3fSNHnO or a hall light on a timer.  Also keep in mind the use of electronic devices before bed. Many devices now have blue light filter settings. Sleep habits range from individual to individual and from age to age.

ADHD symptoms can be challenging. Embrace the moments by learning what you can from them and move forward from them. ADHD is a brain difference often challenged, even more, when tired or hungry. Give the gift of forgiveness and empower your child to do the same for themselves. ADHD is not a fault; it’s a form of living and thinking differently. Come together in forgiveness. Nightly. Life happens and mistakes occur. Learn from them and try something different. Tweak things. Forgive for a better tomorrow.