“It’s my way or the highway.” What if there’s something to that? Many of us grew up being told what to do and how to do it, by parents, teachers, siblings, and friends. My dad knew that in my stubbornness I’d only do things my way, and my mom called it creativity. People would plant a seed, and I would water it my way. Some seeds grew, and some dried up, but the doing-it-my-way was always there.
My way is not their way
Fast forward twenty years to a small Kentucky homestead with two teens, animals in a little red barn, and lemonade on the porch swing. As my kids have grown, they’ve formed “their way,” and because their brains are wired differently than mine, my way of doing things is often nothing like theirs. You’ve probably had this argument: “Why do you do it that way?” “I don’t know, it makes sense this way. Why do you do it your way?” And the question bounces right back, each person proving a point that may never fully land with the other.
Why our ways differ
The human brain is uniquely wired and capable of grandeur, and adding neurodiverse individuals makes that difference even more apparent. ADHD diagnosis isn’t quick or clear-cut, and neither is the way any one brain approaches a task. What looks inefficient to one person is the sensible path to another. Recognizing that removes a surprising amount of friction, at home, at work, and inside your own head.
Honoring your way
Doing life your way isn’t stubbornness for its own sake, it’s working with your wiring instead of against it. The goal isn’t to make everyone do it your way, or to force yourself into theirs, but to understand your own approach well enough to lean into it on purpose.
Your way is allowed to be different. There is power in your wiring, and you are worthy of living ADHD uplifted.
View this uPLifted issue in its original magazine-style layout.
