By: Cindy North, CALC

Written: March 19, 2021

Got _WORRY! So common these days. Up all night? I know I worry. I’m guessing you might worry, too. Just even a little? Or, your child often worries? And your child worrying, has you worrying? It’s hard, though, sometimes to shift gears when worry sets in like morning fog on a spring day, but you should be sleeping. You might be stuck, unable to see where to go or how to stop the thoughts. They are like a runaway train without breaks. Worry. Worry. Worry.

ADHDer’s often struggle with repetitive worry. Clients have shared that they feel like their ADHD brain can get stuck in a loop of negative thinking, and worry sets grip fast. And there they are stuck! I believe intense worrying could be a learned behavior, always seeking to stay in control. Worrying is like over-thinking all the worst-case scenarios and outcomes a situation might have. Many of these worried thoughts are entirely out of a person’s control, fantasy-filled, with highly unrealistic results. “Do you think that will really happen?” I might question myself.

How does worry start? Could worry be a primitive protective mechanism? Worry is a normal thinking process predicting outcomes. What, Me Worry? Why Worrying Does More Harm Than Good | Psychology Today There is normal worry and excessive worry. People with ADHD often state their worry starting from as early as they can remember. Is this you? What if ADHD worry is like a seed planted from outside sources and further nurtured by the ADHD brain trying to stay safe? ADHDer’s are known to be thinkers. Seems acceptable that the thinking part of the brain could take over. Worrying becomes a problem when the worrying takes over and floods your every thought creating anxiety. Anxiety is the feeling of worry. Anxiety can be felt in many ways in the body: butterflies, clammy palms, red splotching on the face and neck, sweating, shortness of breath. An anxiety attack can even feel as big as if you are having a heart attack. Anxiety can become debilitating and life-altering if ignored.

Interestingly, worry comes from the prefrontal cortex, the thinking part of the brain. Fear comes from the emotional part of the brain, the amygdala. Anxiety is what is felt by the body when the limbic system triggers the fight or flight responses. The brain is the Organ of Anxiety, and the body is the Recipient of Its Effects – Anxiety Boss  ADHDer’s are told from an early age all that they are doing wrong; Just sit-still for once! Why can’t you get it done? You are so LAZY!!!! Stop talking! Look at the mess you have made…clean it up! Wait your turn! Get your head out of the clouds! How can you find anything in that backpack? Where is your homework? What you forgot!!!! What do you mean you said “&hu&J*@&#” to your teacher? You did WHAT!?!?… Sound like you? Have you heard any of these messages? Or, have you possibly said any of this to your child. I know I have. What if you try on a new perspective?

You can shift your energy from worrying about all these things you cannot control towards using this energy to thoughts of what you can create. Control vs. create? Question yourself. What can you control anyway? You can control what you create. You can create your behavior, actions, methods, possibility. You can choose today to shift from worry to creation. How can you remind yourself to adopt this mindset? Think to yourself… “Is what I am thinking about something I have control over? No, not really. Then what can I create?” In altering your thinking, your energy and mindset shift.

The ADHD mindset is a host of possibilities. If you or someone you know is struggling, seek a partner to help you move forward. If you need more support, seek a trained professional to help you shift gears and move forward towards your desires and goals. Staying stuck is a choice. Worry is a thinking process. Take a step out of stuck by trying this mind shift. Here are a few choices that might help when you find yourself stuck in the thinking trap of worry:

• Name the worry. “The Worry Monster or The Worry Dragon” Ownership is accepted by naming the worry or the worrying process. Be creative in naming worries.
• Break down the worry you are having into possible outcomes. “What is the least likely outcome, a probable outcome, and the most likely outcome.” Think even further about what happens to your worry when you break it down in this way? Parents could also use a wish scale for children: “In a perfect world this will happen verses in the worst world, this will happen.” Help children to break down their predictions into what is normal worry versus excessive worry.
• Talkback to your worry. “What is this worry really about?”
• Set a time to worry. (Time of day and length of time. Ex: 12:15pm for 10 minutes)
• Write worries down in a journal or on a piece of paper.
• Write down your worry on a small piece of paper and place the worry thought in a jar or box that you can then set out of reach. The jar or box can be revisited during worry time. (This technique is both mental and physical).
• Write down worries and then tear up the worries that are no longer serving you towards your future desires or goals.
• Change the activity. Do something that will require active thinking on a different thought.
• Exercise- Go for a rigorous walk or run—bike for 10 minutes.
• Draw a picture of your worry. Get your imagery out of your head.
• Tell someone you trust about your worry thoughts.
• Adopt a healthy routine for sleep, nutrition, exercise, and habits.
• Reframe- Focus on the upside by stating, “I’m excited….” Shift your mindset towards an exciting feeling.
• Create a ritual. Wear your favorite t-shirt for every game. Sleep with a favorite stuffed toy or cuddly blanket when Dad has to go out-of-town. Perform a specific routine- “I’m all set to start __?__.”
• Seek professional help from a Doctor, Cognitive Behavior Therapist, or Trained Life Coach.

Worry is a normal brain process beneficial to planning, decision making, and execution. Instead of worrying, think “create.” The mind is powerful, especially the ADHD mind. Be creative in taming your worries. The list above is just a start. You are creative, resourceful, and whole. Use it as a starting point to create your ways to combat your worry thoughts. In your strength, you can overcome the thinking thoughts that are holding you back. If you feel unequipped to control your worry or if your worry is moving into anxiety, ask for help.

References:

What, Me Worry? Why Worrying Does More Harm Than Good …. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-power-prime/201304/what-me-worry-why-worrying-does-more-harm-good

The Brain is the Organ of Anxiety, and the Body is the …. https://anxietyboss.com/the-brain-is-the-organ-of-anxiety-and-the-body-is-the-recipient-of-its-effects/

Techniques for helping children navigate anxiety related to COVID-19 – Counseling Today, 

Taming Anxiety: Techniques That Work – Knowledge@Wharton (upenn.edu)