The Three- E Approach to ADHD

By: Cindy North, PCC, CALC, CPQC

November 12, 2024

I read an article this morning that stirred commotion in my thoughts. A mom shared her misbelief when her son’s doctor told her that she could have ADHD, too. Not surprising to me, she is a successful adult in multiple areas. Accepting her diagnosis didn’t come easy. In her article, she writes, “You’ve done a lot of work,” my doctor said gently. “Most people don’t have to do that much work.”

As adults, we fall prey to judgment when we don’t have it all figured out and nailed down. We mask up, hold on by our fingernails, grin and bear it. Add an ADHD brain style, and you are likely trying extra hard and probably falling short from time to time and time and time again. It’s that little box society wants you to live within that traps you.

If you have adult ADHD, you have likely experienced the great effort it takes to get yourself motivated (for certain things) and how hard it can be to stay afloat, keep up, or get back on track. You also know what it feels like when you fall short and what it feels like to have distrust in yourself. Trusting others can be hard enough add distrust within yourself and a self-fulfilling prophecy erodes your ability to believe you will succeed. Thriving can feel impossible when you don’t trust yourself.

Having ADHD does not mean you can’t get sh$t done. Or that success is beyond your reach. You are not lazy or incapable. Sadly, you might believe this narrative on occasion. I get it! Judging self can take on a whole new level of ugly talk.

The way you navigate your unique thinking patterns is often the unseen struggle. Life can begin to fall apart when ADHD burdens become too great or the systems that helped you cope with your ADHD symptoms fall flat. This is where a trained ADHD Life Coach can partner with you to help you create access points and strategies specific to you that support thriving effectively.

Exploring the Three E’s

You can impact your ADHD brain-wiring with the three e’s: experiences, environment and education to best set yourself up for success.

Experiences- What you experience is what your brain uses to make its next predictions. It is said that ADHDers hear, on average, 20,000 more negative responses by age ten than the average neurotypical person. And that doesn’t even begin to equate for the negative messages said that no one else hears you say to yourself. Carry this into adulthood and try to calculate the number of negative messages you’ve stomached. It’s A LOT! Finding ways to design living for positive experiences is crucial.

ADHD Hack: Practice mindfulness. Training your awareness helps you be in the moment firing neurons in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for executive functioning. Mindfulness is present moment awareness using your sensory system. Mindfulness is more than sitting still grounded to the floor. You can do mindfulness practices while eating, walking, and even talking.

Bonus: Learning a mental framework for accepting and converting life experiences, regardless of their negative or positive effect, is immensely beneficial. (I partner with clients in learning a app-guided mental fitness program called Positive Intelligence (PQ) that does just that 🙂 Find out more here)

Environment- The ADHD brain is taking in more data than the average brain. Filtering all of this input can be exhausting. You wonder why you are so tired after an event. Sensory processing is a key player for the ADHD brain and one that doesn’t get as much acknowledgement. How you design your environment to support the energy required in that moment is key. What do you need in or out of your environment to do what is required of you?

ADHD Hack: You can affect your energy by introducing rhythm through music. This is why music is often a go-to for neurodivergent individuals (Morales, 2024). The brain can mirror the tempo of the music. ADDitude magazine highlights the use of music in the article called, 13 Productivity Playlists to Center and Focus ADHD Brains. Do you need your mind calmer; you may try listening to ADD/ADHD Intense Relief by Jason Lewis on YouTube. Need more pep in your step try Upbeat Songs to Kickstart ADHD Brains – playlist by ADDitude | Spotify. Music is a go-to energy and mood shift hack I use when I want to get going or down shift. Do you have a go-to pick-me up song?

Bonus: Adequate sleep is your first line defense for ADHD symptom regulation. ADHD struggles and dysfunctional sleep often go hand in hand. The ideal sleep temperature is 60- 67 degrees F. You might try using a weighted blanket, listening to a sleep story, using background noise such as white/pink/brown noise, mist your pillow with essential oils like lavender, or creating a sleep only zone to improve your sleep. What do you need in or out of your environment to get better sleep.

Education- Embrace difference and step into your greatness by applying learned knowledge of how your brain operates. The human brain has the amazing capacity to retool and transform thought. You know only what you know now until you choose to learn and adapt something new. We have information literally at our fingertips. For many of my clients the information beltway can be what keeps them from making forward movements.

Education comes in and goes out when there are not actionable steps in place to apply the new knowledge. Have you ever read a book or gone to a seminar feeling it could be the thing that changes your life? And then, the new knowledge loses its flame. Does this happen to you? Too much is available, and you get stuck in learning and not applying. Information can flood your system letting indecision and doubt creep in. Making a choice with so many options finds you frozen in place.

We don’t know what we don’t know until we know and apply. Applying your education is what helps it stick. Having a thought partner, a trusted friend or an ADHD Life Coach can help you move knowledge to application especially when it is specific to ADHD needs. It’s important to note that learning can also lead to grief. Many of my clients go through a period where the new knowledge has them saying, “if I had only known this I would have done it so different back then.” I encourage you to embrace learning with blameless discernment and forgiveness, for you only know what you know in the moment now. Continuing our educational journey can help us step into our greatness.

ADHD Hack: Create your ADHD Owner’s Manual by blamelessly checking in with your symptoms. No judgment. Call a spade a spade. What is getting in the way? Are you distracted, disengaged, hyper-focused, thought jumping?

ADHD has some pretty awesome abilities, too. What are you excelling at? ADHDers are often multi-threaded, energized, problem-solvers, observant, keen, devoted, deep feelers, all-in and more. What brand of ADHD do you wear?

Bonus: Find trusted sources and lean into them? It is important to find trusted sources such as CHADD.org, ADDA, ADDitude Magazine and Understood. You are best served when the messages your brain is receiving are supporting your future self-backed by the latest science and a community of ADHD leaders.

Now What?

Being neurodivergent does not mean you can’t be successful. I know you can excel when you have your needs met by your experiences, the design of your environment and in becoming further educated. You can’t always expect others to get it. Not even your prescribing doctor. Be your most loyal fan and advocate for your needs.

I work with super successful people all the time that want an easier grip on daily living. They simply want to not have to work so bloody hard staying afloat and live into their success. The coaching process teases out new awarenesses with action steps for effective living ADHD empowered.

In true coach fashion I will leave you with a few questions to ponder.

How could you assess your three e’s to design a smoother road ahead?

Like the mom from the article that sparked this wordsmithing, she thought there was no way she could be neurodivergent until she looked closer at all the work she was doing to hold her “doing” in place.

What are you doing in great attempt to hold it all in place? Is it serving you best?

Imagine having the self-awareness to know your strengths, the ability to employ them to support your struggles and having the ability to direct your knee-jerk thinking habits towards greater success. What then? ADHD Life Coaching offers a partnership in the development of your personalized owner’s manual. You do you, your way like never before!